Friends, Who needs them?

So who really needs friends.....
Can you imagine going through life without your favorite pal, buddy or friend for life hanging on your shoulder?

I used to be overflowing with friends that was until I got married. Who would have thought that getting married would end your relationship with your best friend. This wasn't any old friend, it was someone I went all through school with. We met in the first grade and we were unseparable, that was until I went and got married. She played the third wheel for a few months then just like that she was gone from my life. I tried getting together with her after a dream I had a few years back. I got her phone number from her mom who still lived in the area and gave her a call. It was apparent that she wasn't interested like I was and so nothing ever came from my trying to reconnect. I have know idea how she is doing are if she is happy with her life. This saddens me, this lost connection of life.

I remember when I was quite young it wasn't hard making friends with anybody, sex, race etc.....How come that changes when you get older? Who are we afraid of and better yet why?

I can still see the time when the new Mexican family moved in across the street from me. I was quite young and hadn't even started school yet. I kneeled, peeking through the white picket fence hoping to get glimpse into their lives. I wasn't shy when I was younger and I can't really remember but I bet you it was me that broke the barrier and introduced myself. My very first new friends name was Deanna but I called her DeeDee. She was so pretty, tall, skinny and beautiful long brown hair and a smile that brightened up the most dreary day. We became fast friends, best buds. Along with DeeDee came her older brother Bobby, younger brother and sister RayRay and Nancy. I was fast a part of their family and they ours. As we grew older our lives took different paths but we caught up again as adults and still see each other from time to time. I wish that we could go back to being little when I see her as I miss the intimacy that comes with a friendship like we had. But alas, our lives are so different now, she with grandkids and children still at home as well as a full time job. I relish the times we run into each other even if years seperate them. We will always be friends but best buds never more.

It's funny how I came to think of my lost friends today. I am trying to organize my stack of business cards and found DeeDee's amongst the stack. I turned the card over and low and behold there was her address and phone number. Should I call I ask myself, maybe not she is probably too busy. I haven't decided if I will call or not but it is nice knowing I have her number in case I do. It's kind of like a lifeline or sorts, a connection that leads back many years ago. The company she works for places an ad in the local paper everyweek in it are photos of the employees. I look at her picture and smile each and everytime. There is my friend DeeDee I say, my very first best friend. I love my friend, I hope she is happy with her life.

I chose this topic as of today I struggle to make friends. I always seem to be the one to do the persuing then nothing ever happens. Why can't somebody persue my friendship? Everybody needs friends but why is it so hard to find them. I have placed an ad on an Internet website seeking an ocassional day time friend. I received one response so far. I emailed her back but have yet to hear from her again. Here I go once again, putting out great effort for little return. Why do people treat each other with so little regard for each others feelings.